As I realize what I want to do with my life, I become more and more impatient. See, I never thought the two correlated. Patience was a virtue that I was striving for. I feel like I’ve demonstrated a remarkable amount. But being genuinely patient is a mystery to me. I can listen and empathize with people. That doesn’t mean I truly understand or feel what they are feeling.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m becoming a robot. I’ve let science become one of the most important things in my life and I would love to talk to someone all day about my thoughts and experiences in the lab. I love when people ask and care.
I’ve found that a few people in my life believe strongly that science is going to further our society. I agree with these people but I am driven up a wall with their hypocrisy. I’ve been criticized by these very people for believing that man found religion first and that I believe religion is necessary for a starting civilization (of course now I believe we’re coming into a time where religion will shortly not be as necessary). These people who mocked my logical arguments for this are wasting their time and not even aiding in the advancement. Me, the lowly person who loves her spirituality, is working harder for this scientific world than the people who gloat about it.
Perhaps, once again I am too old and do not understand the thrill of smoking and drinking my life away. I will be the first to admit I do not understand the appeal of spending every night that way.
Growing up is sad. Too many depressing things are hidden behind appealing, exciting worlds. But I would never tear their world down from them like they have to so many people. Because that is what makes them happy. Why would I ever take that away from someone? Even if I do not agree with it.
